Her vagina should come with caution tape.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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