Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
