Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
