So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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