so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
