Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
