I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
