I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
