i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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