Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
