Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize