isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
