Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
