you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
