Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
