Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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