but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
