Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize