I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
