How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize