Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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