therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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