I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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