There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The Olympian is in my bed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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