im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
