and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
