My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
