I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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