I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
