I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
