lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
