Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
