I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
