Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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