Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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