When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
