I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
