this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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