real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
third nipple confirmed
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
