is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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