I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
