My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
