Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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