There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
