even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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