Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
splinters make it hard to masturbate
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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