this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Two words: nipple clamps
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