Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Come on in and take your pants off
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