I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
