You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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