I hate all girls vehemently.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
