So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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