Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
