Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
