just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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